The Wedding Officiant

It is an honor to present for the first time as husband and wife,
Seth and Laura!

A few hours earlier, things didn’t look like they were going to go so smoothly. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. … No, that’s a bad introduction,” I said aloud. “Welcome, family, friends, and guests.”

I wrote it down and began copying the readings for Laura and Seth’s wedding a second time. It was one o’clock in the morning, and I sat crossed-legged on a hotel king-sized bed, hunched over a small, black notebook. My hands were cramping, but writing was the only way I was going to remember this stuff later that day. This was the most important moment of their relationship thus far, and for whatever reason, they entrusted me with conducting the ceremony. I had to get it right.

Laura and I were close friends in high school who had occasionally kept in touch after graduation. But like all good friends, once the conversations start, it’s like you had never stopped talking. When Laura asked me to officiate her wedding, I hadn’t seen her in about two years. We were attending another friend’s wedding, for which I was the maid of honor. I had just given my speech when Laura said she had to talk to me. She pulled me aside and asked if I would be her wedding officiant. Our eyes welled with tears and, astonished, I accepted.

Months went by, and I hadn’t heard anything. As the wedding drew closer, I was the one who got cold feet. Why did she want me to officiate her wedding? Was she just tipsy and feeling sentimental? What if I mess up? I’d be a total fraud up there, flapping my gums about everlasting love. It’s not like my love life is something to be desired. “Oooh yeah, I see what you’re saying,” another friend said grimacing. “If you’re uncomfortable, you still have time to back out.”

A few weeks before the wedding, I sent Laura a Facebook message to see if she had changed her mind. “If you are still willing to do the ceremony, we’d love it!” she replied back. “I think you’d be awesome at it … but I totally understand if you don’t want to.” After speaking to her, it clicked. It wasn’t my credentials, experience, or lack thereof that really mattered. They wanted someone they knew and could trust on their big day.

I just want to be able to personalize the whole thing. No God talk. In and out in 15 mins. A little Pablo Neruda sonnet … done-zo.

Laura was a laid back but organized bride who made everything incredibly easy. She chose the readings, while I came up with the introduction, transitions, and ending. She knew a notary public that could handle the legalities with the signing and filing of the wedding license. I just had to do the fun public speaking part. Her only special request was that I acknowledge her and Seth’s recognition of marriage equality during the welcome, a thoughtful gesture to LGBT friends and family members in attendance.

I had written and rehearsed the ceremony four times before I turned in for bed. When the time came I was nervous as hell, but everything went well. I didn’t catch a case of Tourette’s or freeze in fear. Laura and Seth wrote adorably heartfelt vows, and it was a joy to witness. It wasn’t until after the ceremony that I realized just how cool it was to be the officiant. I just partook in the official joining of two lives! Seth and Laura’s families were happy, the couple was incredibly happy, and that’s all that mattered.